I was recently asked by Tatler my opinion on whether the RSVP is a dying art. See if you agree with me below…

NO, the RSVP is not a dying art. Though fewer hand written acceptance notes are mailed, so too are their counterpart invitations. Everyone agrees that communication has changed, but people do still adhere to the convention, if not on paper, then through Paperless Post, email, Whatsapp even. The RSVP is still relevant in our OMG world.

Knowing your NOG (number of guests) is understandably important for intimate settings and seated dinners, and I believe people are respectful of that. But I question the notion of the RSVP historically- Was the “dying art” ever the young dancing swan to begin with?

Historically, in my memory, the RSVP could be played a bit loose and free, and you didn’t let it get in the way of a good time…

My mother is British, and every year my parents had a rather theatrical Boxing Day party, held at our country house. It started as a small exuberant group of eccentric godparents and family friends, and over time, ended up as a cast of thousands. People drove a hundred miles in snow to come, everyone in costume and wigs arriving with prepared songs or skits. I don’t know if my mother ever sent an invitation, but we certainly never knew who to expect. It was great fun- one year my godmother stood on the table and did a strip tease with the Sunday Times opened across her body, and while she sang, she would peel off a page, crumple it and throw it at the crowd… Fortunately, there were more pages than verses.

So is the RSVP really “dying”? Have people’s attitudes about it, and its practice, really changed over time? More than the “art” of the RSVP, are we not mourning more the loss of the human touch in an electronic world?  Are we not perhaps, holding the poor RSVP accountable for a greater societal dissatisfaction?

Whatever the deeper answer, there is a simple solution to making sure you LOL regardless of RSVP and NOGs. My mother always said, as long as you stock up on champagne, you can’t go wrong. Run out of food, fine, but not wine…  ;)

See the tamer version on HK Tatler here: http://hk.asiatatler.com/culture-lifestyle/society/is-the-rsvp-a-dying-art